‘Every time you feel sad, I will make it worse by taking money from you’ : Controlling Husband Who Is ‘Cheerful by Nature’ Forbids Wife and Kids to Express Any Negative Emotions by Instilling a ‘Pessimism Jar’, Family Conflict Ensues

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/ZealousidealCut3417 2 days ago AITA for implementing a pessimism tax?
  • 02
    Font - I(35M) am a very cheerful person by nature. I went through alot of shit in life, and I struggled alot, but throughout it all, I managed to keep an even temperament. I am an optimist by nature, and I always try to maintain a cheerful and bright outlook on life.
  • 03
    Font - My wife(34F) is the opposite. She tends to get angry easily, and is more cynical and jaded than me. We get along well for the most part, but she tends to always predict the worst. She always thinks about things that could go wrong, and never really appreciates what we have.
  • 04
    Font - The problem is, as my kids are growing up, they are getting imbibed with her energy. They are starting to become incredibly cynical, with dour pronouncements on employment and the economy, constantly trying to bring up incredibly depressing news. They seem to enjoy talking about corruption, and downfall, and the bad things about our life, and society in general.
  • 05
    Font - I read about some scientist who discovered that if you move your face into a smile, like hold that expression, that muscle movement actually has an impact on your mood, and you become happier.
  • 06
    Font - sLast month, I decided to put this in practice. For every single negative or depressing thing they say, I take away a dollar from my kids' allowances They begrudgingly went along with it at first, but now they are getting really annoyed at me, and everyone is calling me an AH for this. I don't understand what's so wrong about trying to keep my family from devolving into miserable people who see negativity and evil all around them, but my family says that I am being controlling. AITA?
  • 07
    Font - loverlyone 2 days ago. edited 1 day ago Certified Proctologist [22] YTA "the beatings will continue until morale improves." Come on.
  • 08
    Font - Throwawaydaughter555. 2 days ago But just move your lips into a smile whilst being beaten and you'll feel happier!!
  • 09
    Font - beckdawg19 2 days ago Commander in Cheeks [265] God, reading that part gave me a headache. As someone who just got off a shift where I was forced to smile and put on a nice face, I can safely say it has the opposite effect.
  • 10
    Font - asexualdruid 2 days ago. edited 1 day ago Asshole Enthusiast [6] Edit: holy award and upvotes, batman! Thank you kind humans♡ Its used as a therapy tool, and can help! The trick isnt to smile the way you think a smile should look, but just to barely move the corners of your mouth up and relax your face, which will calm you down (NOT make you happy or forget the shit in the world, just make the moment more bearable).
  • 11
    Font - Also i dont see how "this is an effective therapeutic tool to relieve short term anxiety" became "every time you feel sad i will make it worse by taking money from you". OP sounds tiring to be around. No wonder the familys always moody.
  • 12
    Font - catsncupcakes. 2 days ago Asshole Enthusiast [8] Yeah, whilst the study definitely exists, I'm confused how OP got from using certain muscles improves your mood to taking away money will improve your mood.
  • 13
    Font - MissFrothingslosh. 2 days ago Or how he thought "I'm restricting how you can express yourself" would improve anyone's mood. Eating your feelings is so healthy! /s
  • 14
    Font - LokiCatof Mischief. 2 days ago Also it's wonderful to be an optimist by nature but if OPs kids are teens they have a right to be cynical, the world that is being left to them is falling apart and being pissed about that is only natural. Also what's his plan when they get part time jobs and can't control their money?
  • 15
    Font - katergator717. 2 days ago. edited 2 days ago YTA You need to encourage positivity, not punish negativity.
  • 16
    Font - A much better option would be to have a bonus $10 jar. Every negative comment removes a dollar. Every positive comment adds a dollar. Talk to your wife about expressing too much negativity around the kids.
  • 17
    Font - How about you put in some work and research uplifting, positive, hopeful news to discuss with the kids? If my parents cut my allowance for reasons unrelated to chore qualoty or me breaking something, i would have mutinied
  • 18
    Font - BlazingSunflowerland. 2 days ago He moved into don't share your mood, it is forbidden, so now everything has to be internalized while he is around.
  • 19
    Font - Junkelei 2 days ago Yeah, that leap threw me for a loop. I was expecting something like, "for every negative story they bring up they also have to bring up a positive story" or even "before bringing up a negative story to discuss they have to bring up a positive one first."
  • 20
    Font - How did they jump straight to just taking money? How is that a fitting punishment for the crime? Can they earn money back talking about positives or do they just get to be more resentful because the money is gone forever?
  • 21
    Font - pianoispercussion. 2 days ago Also, OP said they were talking about the NEWS. So it's not even just their negative feelings it's real world stuff that is currently happening. Would OP rather they just have their heads in the sand?
  • 22
    Font - marigoldilocks_ . 2 days ago That was my Sorry kids! We don't allow critical thinkers thought. in +this+ house. You take your minimum wage of $7.50/hr, +$3.00-$7.00 a gallon gas, and rent of $2.50-$5.00 sq ft, and you be happy about it!

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